Living with depression can have a significant impact on our relationship. It gradually creeps into our lives and affects our relationships with those around us. Also, it can occasionally be difficult to keep up a relationship with someone who is depressed. You started wondering why my marriage is making me depressed. Your spouse or partner may also find it challenging, especially if they do not know how to deal with depression in relationships. 

Depression is something that both partners in a relationship need to address, but it is something that they overlook. People who are depressed require extra care and patience when treating them. One should never combine depression and relationships. Depression frequently has a negative impact on beautiful relationships. So what is the best way to handle depression in a relationship? Or how to be a better partner when you're depressed? You need to identify it first. 

When depression is found in a relationship, all attention is directed toward the depressed individual. You need to be understanding and patient when dealing with a depressed partner. There are various ways that you can follow to handle depression in relationships. In this article, we will talk about how precisely a relationship can contribute to the onset of depression symptoms and what steps you and your partner take to combat relationship depression. So, let’s dive in.

Understand What Depression in Relationships Actually Means

Depression is a mental health disorder that impacts millions of individuals around the globe. It falls under the category of mood disorders. Although the term "depression" is occasionally used to describe feeling sad, when we talk about relationship depression, it is a completely different medical condition. Individuals who are depressed may have several enduring psychological and physical symptoms. However, there are numerous myths also exist regarding depression. For instance, being weak or lazy is not the only cause of depression. If your partner is complaining, “My marriage is making me depressed," don’t take it casually. It is possible that your partner's suffering is more than "in their head." Relationship depression has no justification. 

If you are not familiar with depression, educate yourself to counter stereotypes and negative beliefs. It is crucial to support your partner's experiences and feelings regarding this very real, biologically based illness. Be aware that treatment is available, just like for any other illness. Depression also carries a very real risk of suicide, so it is critical to protect your loved one's surroundings (e.g., by removing any weapons, alcohol, or drugs) and to take any suicidal thoughts seriously. Let’s now proceed to the major causes of relationship depression.

Major Causes of Depression in Relationships

While relationships can lead to happiness, they can also cause unhappiness or conflict. This may have an effect on people's mental health. There are various reasons why depression symptoms could be worsening or being caused by a relationship. These may consist of:

1. Abuse

Abuse on all fronts—physical, sexual, and emotional—has been linked to depression and other mood disorders. A 2020 study looked at how abuse affects a person's emotions over time. Approximately 1,500 participants in the study had their levels of intimate partner violence (IPV) assessed at ages 21 and 30. According to the survey, being the victim of IPV at age 21 was associated with anxiety and depression at age 30. 

It was also discovered in the study that men were more likely to experience anxiety following abuse, but women were more likely to suffer from depression. Domestic violence is one of the more obvious symptoms, but there are other signs as well, like emotional abuse. However, abuse in any form is extremely serious in terms of depression and relationships. While handling abuse can be challenging, it is not impossible. You should get assistance if a partner is abusing you or someone you care about.

2. Unfaithfulness

Cheating can ruin trust and lead to feelings of betrayal, humiliation, and rage for both you and your partner. Additionally, it may result in depressive symptoms. In a 2016 study, researchers looked into the effects of infidelity on married couples or partners who live together. Researchers discovered that individuals who were already at a higher risk of depression in relationships had a higher likelihood of experiencing a major depressive episode after finding out about a partner's infidelity. According to 2020 research, adultery can lead to low self-esteem and confidence, in addition to being associated with symptoms of anxiety and depression. This can have a negative impact on one's mental health.

3. Long-Distance

Physical distance is just one of many causes of relationship depression that a couple may encounter. The extra difficulties that come with being far apart can have an impact on a couple's ability to express their love, communicate, and have intimate moments. This may also have an impact on one or both partners' feelings regarding the partnership. When you live far away from your partner, it can lead to feelings of sadness or relationship anxiety. These emotions could be brought on by missing your spouse or worrying about their whereabouts or emotions when you are not there.

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4. Past Trauma

Trauma is commonly defined as a person's reaction to a highly stressful (or traumatic) experience, situation, or event. Trauma can have long-term effects in addition to its immediate ones. Even your present relationship may be affected by traumatic events from the past. Perhaps you find it difficult to trust because of your past experiences, which cause you to push your partner away or cause conflict in your relationship. When we talk about depression and relationships, anxiety or depression can also be signs of unresolved trauma.

Feelings of worthlessness, shame, or even the belief that you are undeserving of love can be the cause of depression in relationships. Ultimately, your relationship and mental health may be at risk in an attempt to shield yourself or prevent further suffering. In this situation, if you are wondering how to be a better partner when you're depressed, talking with a mental health professional could be beneficial if you want to learn more effective coping mechanisms for your past trauma.

5. Conflicting goals

When partners disagree about their future as a couple and as individuals, tension can develop. Some couples struggle to achieve this alignment, even though many find ways to make their goals and aspirations complement each other. Relationship issues can arise when the personal goals of two people collide. Maybe it will even put an end to it. Worry, sadness, and depression in relationships can start to seep in when you and your partner are unable to work together to create a path forward and envision a future together.

How to Deal With Relationship Depression

It is critical to address depression in a relationship if one partner is causing strain due to their illness or if a relationship is depressing due to a lack of connection. In doing so, you may be able to avoid more relationship problems. It is important for both sides to put self-care first, reestablish communication, and gently point out any patterns or behaviors they observe in each other. The following are some ways that can help you deal with relationship depression:

1. Understand Your Depression

Understanding the symptoms of depression and how they might impact your relationship is the first step toward managing its effects. Always keep in mind that relationship depression is a common mental health condition and not a character flaw. It could be beneficial for you to externalize your depression and see it as a distinct thing. 

You may even want to address it in the third person or give it a name. If you are in the phase where you are feeling that my marriage is making me depressed, this can assist you in separating yourself from your illness so that you can more clearly see the ways in which it is affecting your feelings, ideas, and actions. 

2. Communicate With Your Partner

Many individuals who suffer from relationship depression find it difficult to express their emotions. Perhaps you are too ashamed to express your feelings to your partner, or you are afraid of upsetting them. However, you can work through it together if you start a conversation with them about what is going on. It releases any tension that depression may have put on your relationship by allowing you both to communicate what has been going on. Select a time of day when your energy is highest if you are prepared to strike up a conversation. 

If you are in a dilemma about how to be a better partner when you're depressed, make sure the person you are listening to is in a good mental state as well. Be honest and receptive to your partner's viewpoint throughout the discussion. Try your best to answer any questions they may have, and remember to put their needs ahead of your own. Open and honest communication like this can help you and your partner reconnect, relieve some of the private burden you have been carrying, and show you both how you can support one another. 

3. Share Your Needs 

Communicating your needs is just as important as sharing your experiences and emotions. Asking for assistance can actually improve your relationship with your partner, even though you might not want to bother them. The majority of partners would be glad to lend their loved ones any assistance at all. Consider what kind of support you need from your partner and when you need it before you talk about your needs. 

It could be anything from being left alone when you are feeling stressed to offering assistance with everyday chores when you are feeling depleted of energy or cracking a funny joke when you are feeling low. It is important to communicate your needs clearly to your partner so they can help you without having to make assumptions or guesswork.

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4. Set Up Time for Each Other

When you are dealing with depression in relationships, spending quality time with your partner can sometimes be the best thing you can do for your relationship. Make plans to spend time together if you sense a growing gap between you and your partner. Consider the best times of day for you: is it early in the morning or late at night? Come up with a list of things you can do that will satisfy your needs and interests. 

Keep your plans realistic and straightforward, and try not to put too much pressure on yourself to live up to the traditional expectations of a relationship. Perhaps you would like to watch a movie, go for a walk, or prepare a meal together. It is also possible that you would like to work on your individual tasks while sitting in the same room. Whatever it is, intentionally spend that time and concentrate on building a relationship.

5. Practice Self-Care

To look after your relationships, you occasionally need to look after yourself. Even though self-care is something you might not feel like doing when you are in the dilemma of whether my marriage is making me depressed, it can really help you deal with depression in relationships. 

When you are looking for how to be a better partner when you're depressed, put your attention on developing your physical, mental, and emotional well-being through easy practices like regular exercise, sound sleeping patterns, and a balanced diet. You can feel better about yourself and be more present in your relationship by doing something as simple as getting dressed up and doing your hair. 

6. Don’t Take Things Personally

Sometimes your partner will be very impressed, and other times they will be very overwhelmed. Their melancholy and mood swings may also affect your personal life. Taking things personally is a common occurrence. Since it is in our human nature, things will inevitably get out of hand. However, when you are dealing with relationship depression, you must make sure it stays out of line. 

Never judge your partner's depression on a personal level. You have nothing to do with their depression. They love you just as much as you love them. You should not hold yourself responsible for their condition just because they may react differently and be depressed. You have to learn to keep things private and handle depression and relationships as such. 

7. Prevent Adopting Negative Coping Strategies 

People with depression in relationships frequently use unhealthy coping strategies to block out their emotions. If you begin to rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or junk food consumption, it can further sever your relationship with your partner. 

As an alternative, make every effort to select healthier coping strategies if you are feeling my marriage is making me depressed. Activities that promote creativity, hobbies, exercise, or mindfulness have been shown to significantly reduce symptoms of depression. In order to get therapy or medication for depression, you might also think about consulting a mental health professional.

8. Seek Treatment 

The importance of receiving professional treatment should not be understated, whether it be through medication, TMS therapy, or another method. Finding the best course of action to get past the symptoms of depression you are facing in your personal and romantic relationships can be facilitated by speaking with a mental health specialist. 

You may even wish to include your spouse in your therapeutic process. Couples therapy sessions are something you can attend together if that is possible. You can even talk with astrologers to get an insight about your future relationship. This can provide an opportunity for you both to learn how to support one another and to share your ideas and feelings in a safe environment.  

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Conclusion

Dealing with depression in relationships requires understanding, patience, and open communication. Both partners need to recognize the impact of depression on their relationship and work together to address it. Educating oneself about depression and its effects is crucial to providing support and breaking down stereotypes. Additionally, identifying the underlying causes of relationship depression, such as abuse, infidelity, or long-distance, is the first step towards finding solutions and healing. 

Seeking professional help and therapy can also play a significant role in managing depression in relationships. By fostering a supportive and compassionate environment, couples can navigate through the challenges of relationship depression and strengthen their bond. Remember, with empathy, love, and perseverance, it is possible to overcome the impact of depression on a relationship and foster a healthy, nurturing partnership.